When you have a new baby, one of the most common things you get asked is, “Are you getting much sleep?
Now, anyone who’s actually had a newborn baby will already know the answer to this question (“Sleep? What is sleep?”). But rather than divulge all the gory details of my sleeping habits (or lack thereof) with every random person who shows a passing interest, I’ll usually just give a polite stock response or hide how I’m really feeling with a stupid joke.
But the truth of the matter is, I’m tired. Dangerously tired. SO. BLOODY. TIRED. I know this time will pass (this isn’t my first rodeo after all) but right now, I would give my right bollock for just one night of uninterrupted slumber.
So, for any other new parents going through this seemingly never-ending phase of parenthood (or for any nosey-parkers still curious about how much sleep I’m currently getting), this poem is for you…
Too tired to wash.
Too tired to function.
Too knackered to see past this new baby junction.
Too tired to read.
Too tired to write.
Just dreaming that one day they’ll sleep through the night.
Too tired to cook.
Too tired to eat.
When life is just swaddle, pat, shush on repeat.
Too tired to iron.
Too tired to clean.
Two sunken black holes where my eyes once had been.
Too tired to listen.
Too tired to speak.
No clue how we’ll possibly get through the week.
Too tired to work.
Too tired to think.
This zonked zombie life has me right on the brink.
Too tired to argue.
Too tired to fight.
Tiptoeing around, scared to turn on the light.
Too tired to hug.
Too tired to kiss.
With sleep so damn precious, we’ll give sex a miss.
Too tired to laugh.
Too tired to cry.
Just so fucking tired I think I might die.
Does that answer your question?
BONUS VERSE FOR ANY FIRST TIME PARENTS OUT THERE
It will all be OK.
Don’t worry. Don’t fret.
This sleep deprived state,
Is one we all get.
While it seems never ending,
(And feels proper shite),
It’s a phase. It will pass.
So, good luck and sleep tight.