We’re nearing the end of week 11 of our first pregnancy and, having not yet had our 12 week scan, our exciting news is still very much TOP SECRET.
But have our white lies over the past few weeks been believed or has everyone already figured out that we’re expecting?
Having been married for about nine months, the rumour mill is already in full swing, turning any outward irregularity or break from routine into a flashing red light, exclaiming “Hey, look over here! We’re having a baby!”
Every social event where my pregnant wife turns down a drink or says she’s driving, I can’t help but think that everyone must suspect we have a secret bun in the oven. But maybe I’m just being paranoid?
Not helping matters is the fact that I’m a terrible liar. Keeping such a monumental secret is a constant struggle for me, especially since I want nothing more than to shout our news from the rooftops.
So when friends and family ask what I’ve been up to recently, I can’t help but instigate an awkward silence while I frantically rack my brains for something interesting to say that doesn’t give away what I’ve actually been doing since early January:
- stressing over whether our baby will make it to 12 weeks
- looking after my pregnant wife
- researching what to expect during the first trimester
- and generally pouring all my spare time into launching this insanely popular dad blog and associated Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest accounts, to engage with other dads and mums in waiting like me!
Meanwhile, I’ve become uber attentive around my pregnant other half, infinitely more than usual, constantly asking how she’s feeling or if she needs anything, which has definitely raised a few eyebrows over the past month.
If we’re eating out with friends and she orders prawns, or has another cup of tea (too much caffeine is bad for the baby you see), I find myself jumping in with some random cryptic message about why she shouldn’t – something that must be both hugely annoying for her but also a dead giveaway that something’s up.
Not helping matters, whenever we’re in the company of pregnant couples, my well researched, knowing questions and encyclopaedic knowledge of what they must be going through during the first trimester, surely has given the game away?
I guess the moral of the story for expectant dads who find themselves in the same position as me is to just…RELAX!
If you give away some clue that you’re pregnant, don’t stress – in reality it’ll either go over their heads or they’ll be too polite to spoil the surprise. And if people suspect, let them.
Because at the end of the day, when you are ready to break the news, nothing in the world will dampen how happy they all are for you. Even if their first response on hearing it is inevitably, “I KNEW IT!!”
28 weeks and 1 day left to go…
I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s blog. As always I’d love to hear about your own personal experiences too, so if you have been through the same thing during your pregnancy, please do share your stories with the group via the comments section below!
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We just had our first appointment yesterday and heard the heartbeat! Because the doctor was able to find it so quickly, she thinks I am further along than 10 weeks but I’ll only find out at the ultrasound on the 18th. After that, we’re taking our cute photography announcement pictures and will be announcing it to everyone. The wait is killing me! I talk to my close friends and family who I told to help me not scream it from the rooftop. I completely understand how you’re feeling! 🙂 Blogs like this one are also helpful: it’s fun to talk to people and know that other people I know won’t see my comments hehe
Thanks for sharing your story Joanna – good to know I’m not he only one struggling to keep in the excitement! And congratulations to you on the baby – do keep in touch!
My first 12 weeks was over Christmas. We ended up laying fairly low to try & avoid arousing suspicion as I turned down prossecco! The hardest was people asking about our plans for the year. We’re usually planning a mega cycle ride or some other challenge so we had to tell people what we would be doing if our big adventure wasn’t growing a human. Some people did guess & were too polite to say anything but it didn’t matter. We hated lying though & I don’t think either of us are very good at it. It’s such a relief when the scan is over, all is well, & you can start being honest again.
Sounds like it was especially challenging for you guys…refraining from Christmas excesses too! Can’t wait for this first trimester to be over!!